Friday, July 9, 2010

And now for something completely different....

2 month long trip to Europe for life seeking/finding art-filled adventure

[Insert manic, life changing job shift here]

So now I'm the GM of a restaurant? I have a salary? A "stabilized schedule?"  Things should be getting pretty sweet right about now eh?

Curious I don't have a snap YES answer for that question right now.

Back when I worked three completely separate and unrelated restaurant jobs and had a crazy all over the map schedule driving here and there on this night and another place that night and yet another place on yet another night, splicing together days off into a night here and a morning here and there to never actually have a legitimate FULL DAY of self preservation/reconciliation/relaxation...I actually had tolerable stress levels and comfortable finances...odd.

Now, I have one job, with one restaurant, with one schedule (that actually has two consecutive days off each week), and one salary.  But what wasn't mentioned in the finest of the fine print was the fact that my hours would increase exponentially, as would my responsibilities, as would what the expectations of my performance, only thing that didn't increase based on an algorithm that uses a positive curve is my financial compensation for all of these factors.  In fact, when its all said and done it looks like an ax murderer got a hold of my pay check with all the slashing thats been done.  So now we've got job based stress going on, financial based stress reaching fever pitch, on top of that whole cyclical self defeating conversation I have with myself from time to time involving the trapped nature of being an artist who needs to eat but can't rely on his work to feed him.......

Life can be so fucking ironic sometimes it should seriously take a break and hit up some old three stooges routines instead.  

The whole process of doing one thing to fuel another thing which is done again to fuel something else and then trickle more down the line until the thing at the end that you really want to fuel gets but a drop.  Why?  I mean seriously?  If most people live their life this way (and by most people I mean those pretty much who are in the work force not by choice but through necessity) then who out there is really happy?  If everyone's doing something else they maybe...well, lets give it the benefit of the doubt and say its tolerable to the point of sometimes even being enjoyable/fulfilling, but otherwise might not like just to give them the means/hows/ways/ability to do what they really love, how in the name of Whoever is that a win-able process???  There are the few who are lucky and hit some hammer at just the right time to resonate and fuel their brighter flames, but for the masses its pretty grim I would surmise.  

This is all quite pessimistic and negative, and typically I'm an optimist, but I'll be fucked if not a pragmatic one at times.  

Remember that suitcase full of money surrounded by bullet-riddled pickup trucks and dead bodies/dogs in that movie with Brolin and Bardem?  Well why not me!? Fuck I don't hunt but I walk in the woods enough.  And at the very least I'd be smart enough to take the goddamn tracking device out of a suitcase filled with money.  How do you not look for something like that in a bag     fulll     of     money.  "Oh yeah no just grabbed my gym bag before I went to the bank and took out 9812943871298471 dollars."  

Anyways, I think I could put it to good use...probably so could a lot of other people.  
Whatever, not holding my breath.  I'm a working man...I keep telling myself.

Over and out 10 4, don't come back